My Mother Has Breast Cancer

My mother was diagnosed having breast cancer some weeks ago and had a mastectomy done last Friday.

It has been one hell of a journey for all of us especially for me!

It started like this...I have always pestered my mother to do her breast-self examination regularly. I had always been warned by my doctors about the high risk my first degree relatives having breast cancer and mammography should be done annually. Immediate family members would only include my mother as I have no sisters.

Several weeks ago my mother told me that she felt a lump on her right breast. She was reluctant to go for a mammography as wanted to wait but I insisted on it. So with much trepidation and heavy heart we embarked on the journey of tests and discovery. As Dr Saunthari Somasundaram of National Cancer Society who is my aunt, we immediately went to NCSM to have ultra sound and mammogram done. With heartfelt thanks to my aunt, lightening speed arrangements were made to meet other medical professionals as a suspicious lump was found. We went to Subang Jaya Medical Centre to get the biopsy was done by Dr Sumithra Ranganathan. Later, the report confirmed that the lump was cancerous and 6mm in size. And finally Prof Yip Cheng Har of University Malay Medical Centre, the same surgeon who did my mastectomy also did my mother’s op.

I was in an emotional and mental topsy-turvy and this is the first time after my own treatment I have been in such a stage of affairs. Oh god! It was walking through the scenes of memory again, just that this time around there was no element of the unknown! I had the mastectomy last February and this December my mother is having hers. Life really sucked then! Why must the damn cancer hit my family again!

I…I had to break the news to my mother. She took it amazingly calmer than I did. Being a religious person her famous words are “ …if one has to go through it then one has to…that is karma”. I of course, was unduly worried for her and put myself in a terrible stress. My mother is 62 years of age, married with 3 children and the years have seasoned her to take each encounter with more strength and will power to over come it.

I sourced around for survivors where the daughter was diagnosed first then the mother but could not find any. I suppose my mother and I are exception to the general rule!

I sent emails to my fellow survivors about my mother having BC, the people who really could understood what I was going through. Some of them replied and some called and in all of them I found abundance words of encouragement, support, assurance and prayers for everything to go well.

I realized how I handled my BC is different from how my mother would want to handle hers. After all we are two different individuals. My mother did not even want her siblings to know about her condition until the last week of her surgery. She said that she being the eldest in the family she did not want the family to be worried about her. When the family got to know they were in shock! They could not believe that my mother who is a vegetarian, a homemaker and leads a healthy lifestyle could have BC. Of course after the breaking news, she received all their support and love.

The table has been turned for me from a care receiver to a care giver. I spent the night beside my mom at the medical centre after her surgery. She was there for me and I reciprocated it. My mother is really progressing well and is in high spirit. Thank god for that. Well now we have become the family of lopsided females. Ha!...Ha!...Ha…!

They say life is a balance of sorrow and happiness. In the midst of this turbulence, my brother was blessed with a second baby boy, 2 days after my mother’s surgery. The new born baby… a symbol of life, joy, hope and renewed strength!

Family History of Breast Cancer

I had no history of breast cancer in my family and now that I survived breast cancer, I have started the family history. Ha!...Ha! In away, it has increased the risk for my family members developing breast cancer so more my first degree and my second degree relatives. My first degree relative will only be my mother and my second degree relatives who be my grandmother, aunties, cousins and nieces.

I came across this on What are the Risk Factors for Breast Cancer posted by American Cancer Societyhttp://www.cancer.org/ which states “Breast cancer risk is higher among women whose close blood relatives have this disease….. Having 1 first-degree relative (mother, sister, or daughter) with breast cancer approximately doubles a woman's risk”.

I must strongly advocate breast cancer examination among my relatives and to the older family members mammography.

OFF-BEAT AND OFF-MOOD

I have been off-beat and off-mood for the last 2 weeks. My chest cold has improved although I still have some remnants of it. It all started 3 months ago, I initially had lots of phlegm. The weather has been cold these past few weeks as it has been raining heavily almost every other day.

What more, my Tai Chi workouts are done outside on the open air in the cool mist. I now completely cover myself from toe to heat by wearing track bottoms, long sleeves T-shirt and a cap to cover my head. I have also been skipping some of the workouts due to all these reasons.

I have also stopped taking my concoction of juices (fruits & vegetables) in the mornings. Probably the “cooling” elements from the juices may have also contributed towards the phlegm.

Anyway my last visit to my doctor on this matter was, it has improved and my chest is clear. Thank god for that! At one point, I thought I might have the “C” in my lungs!

I also had to deal with other facet of lives beside my own. In this turn of event, one episode after another, I am somewhat emotionally and mentally drained.

I had also visit several medical centres in the Klang Valley recently as my father had an hernia operation and other medical conditions on the ear and neck that had to be treated. During this time, my own memories of hospitals paid me a visit.

Another realization hit me too. Will I live as old as my father to go through the other conditions of old age? Well! Time will tell!

MIM TOASTMASTERS CLUB OF PETALING JAYA, DeepaRaya Meeting

MIM Toastmasters Club of Petaling Jaya’s meeting on 1st November 2006 was a DeepaRaya meeting. Deviating from our normal meeting of table topics, humour and prepared speeches sessions, this meeting had the ambience of colour and custom. We also had several guests who came to the club for the first time. The Division C Governor, Ratnam and Area Governor C4 , Chuan too graced this meeting.

We, the members of the club, had a gala time celebrating our Deepavali and Hari Raya celebrations. A mist the glow from the kuttu vilakku (Indian lamp), the meeting was filled with air of festivity.

The Shah Hotel’s meeting room was decorated not only with the kuttu vilakku but also with kolam , ketupats , sarongs and greetings cards. Some members also came in wonderful traditional costumes of salwar kameez, kurta, sari, kebaya and baju melayu. Whereas, the rest brought with them the spirit of celebration. Our long lost member Syed, gave us a surprise with his presence…handsomely dressed.

The toastmaster of the evening Ishaq, took the meeting to an exciting start. Invocation was done by Hong who talked about lion king and introduced Hakuna Matata(where the heart lies). Club’s president Bruce immediately said that Hakuna Matata will be the theme of the club for this term.

The meeting started of with a record of 3 new members Sharmini, Wendy and Wei Chung oozing with enthusiasm to kick start their career in public speaking and all of them did well in their maiden performance in the ice breaker speeches. This was followed by Yeoh with a speech from the advanced manual. Ishaq ticked our funny bones with some quick humour.

That concluded the first half of the meeting. Then it was refreshment time. We indulged in array of delicious food contributed by not only Hindu and Muslim members but other members as well. We had mee goreng, kuih-muih, keropok, spicy chicken, Indian sweetmeats, muruku and vadai. As were we enjoying the food and mingling, our games show master Chrisie reminded us to be ready for the more fun.

Chrisie divided us into two groups with the names of Toasters and Idlers. Gina was leader of Toasters and I was the leader of Idlers. The games included, charade, Oscar winner, Romeo & Juliet , and another hilarious game of husband and wife. The last, was each group had to sing the club’s anthem with their own words. Members had a swing time, some displaying their talents in drama and acting and others laughing their heads off at the antics of members. The clubs’ anthem was composed and sung within minutes. The Toasters were declared the winners.

Before we called it a day, we had the gift exchange session. Then the exhilarating meeting came to an end.

Below is the extract of President Bruce’s mail of the event:

[[ The ladies came in resplendent in their saris, Gina, Valli, Sharmini, Bathma and Chrisie. The man came out second best with Jaya in a very handsome Indian outfit and not to be outdone our veteran Syed came in an equally handsome baju melayu. The decorations immaculate with a colourful kolam painstakingly done by the ladies. For those who missed out on last night wonderful meeting and fellowship, I believe the photos would be posted on either Valli's Blog or our own website.

We had three icebreakers or done in superb fashion and Yeo T K attempting a role playing assignment trying to sell something to someone who doesn't know that he needs it yet. He chosed a difficult customer in Dr. Khong. Good to have Yeo T K attempting his assignment, almost a year after his last.

Best speaker went to Sharmini.... She really surprised me with her age. She looked so much younger......

Fellowship was great with gifts exchanged. The gameshow master, Chrisie Tan was at her best, drawing out the potential acting and singing talents from our members.

Great nite of fun, laughter and fellow ship. Keep up the euphoria.

Hakuna Matata (Our theme for the year)

Bruce Chan ]]

Here are photos which will paint pictures of the excitement and camaraderie!

[Smiles of the members and guests]

[Ishaq, Gina, Valli, Chrisie, Sharmini,Jaya and Bathma in the tradisional costumes]

[Gina briefing her team the TOASTERS]

[Game show master Chrisie watches Syed and Carol as they act in the drama]

[Club president Bruce welcoming members and guest]

[ I briefing my team Idlers on club's athem]

[Prepared project speakers eagerly waiting for thier presentations]

[Veera and guest in the Romeo & Juliet with a twist storyline]

[Chuan, Dr Khong and guest from the Toasters singing the club's athem]

[I must thank my colleagues for coming with the idea of the kolam. They provided the coloured rice, design and did the most of preparation. I just put it all togehter and the ladies of the club put the final touches to it. Wahlah! The kolam formed in less than 20 minutes]

[Members and guests]

MIM TOASTMASTERS CLUB OF PETALING JAYA MEETS AT: SHAH'S VILLAGE HOTEL, PETALING JAYA EVERY 2ND & 4TH WEDNESDAYS OF THE MONTH

Love My Life. BSE, I have it!

Early this month, I shared my experience as a cancer survivor at the Pink October Campaign with the theme “Love My Life- BSE, I Have It” by Malaysian lingerie brand Xixili. The BSE Awareness campaign was held at Xixili Boutique at 1 Utama Shopping Complex.

I had a small crowd of 20 people this time around but amazingly the audience were interactive. I had lots of questions asked about breast cancer and after the talk I had ladies come up to ask about menopausal issues!

Xixili has introduced the BSE calendar cards as reminder to women to conduct monthly self-examinations.


Presentation Corner in the Boutique

A unique experience of presentation among sexy mannequins and ladies lingerie! Some shoppers were coming in and going out during presentation oblivious to what was going on. Some came in but shied away quickly thinking they may have to buy something.

Xixili Boutique

Xixili Boutique decorated with pink ballon in a heart shape. There was also booths outside the Botique with free trials on breast dummy to discover and how to check and detect breast lump. Talks on breast health were also presentated by other speakers

Below are two photos taking on the tropical rainforest at 1 Utama. I must admit I truly admired the lush greenery with many species of flora and fauna. It was a good ambience of having a forest and colourful fishes amidst cafes and restaurants.


Rainforest at 1 Utama Shopping Complex

Deepavali-The Festival of Lights

I really enjoyed my Deepavali this year binging on forbidden food to some but mouth-watering to me.

This year the Festival of Lights celebration was a real family affair. All of us in the family were tied down with work so we decided on a family celebration for a change. We did not extend invitation to friends as the previous years. Only my uncles and their families visited us. The rest of the holidays were spent resting and enjoying the festive atmosphere.

As for food, we were woke up to the aroma of mother’s delicious cooking on Deepavali. After the customary oil bath and going to the temple, we indulged in mother’s cuisine of chicken kurma, mutton curry and briyani rice. Adding on to this, we suddenly had lots of variety of Indian sweetmeats and guess what!...I enjoyed them in abundance. Not to forget the muruku and other Indian palagarams (traditional tidbits). As some of the family members were vegeterians, mother had also prepared idli, vadai, sambar and chillie chutney. The briyani too was prepared in a vegeterian style with vegetable kurma and oninons & cucumber yoghurt salad ( raita) to go along with it.

Festive Cookies

Some of the Indian palagarams that were served and which I truly enjoyed! Made from rice flour, ghee, lots of sugar, almonds etc.

A Part of My Deepavali Meal

Yummp! Briyani rice (basmati rice), spicy mutton curry, chicken kurma. It is does not look delicious...then I must improve my photography skills!

Of course, somewhere behind my head, I heard an echo saying “be careful…all these festive food are oily, fatty, meaty and sweetie.” But then I was happily and enthusiastically savouring the Deepavali specialties…after all it is Deepavali, a time for celebration and merriment. I put aside the breast cancer issue and celebrated Deepavali the Malaysian way!

I also revisited childhood when I played fire crackers which I bought for my 2 year old nephew. Well, we need to add sparkle to our lives and what better way then to see the colourful sparks on the clear night sky.

And guess what? The following day, for first time in my life, I went saw a movie at TVG a day after Deepavali. Although it was not a tamil movie I saw the “PRESTIGE”. Wow! And I really enjoyed the magic in it.

This year was within family and next year i think, i will invite friends and throw a party. After all every DEEPAVALI ust be different, unique and memorial.

Pink October-The Malaysian Awareness

A thought came to me two days ago that made me eager to find out how many ladies knew that October is a Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So I sent mails, asked colleagues, friends and some total strangers whether they were aware that it the Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I also got some friends to ask their colleagues too.

About 50 ladies were asked. The verdict majority of them are not aware of the Pink October. That does not sound good at actually. I remember reading an article early this month stating that not many Malaysian realize this symbolic month. It clears shows there are a lot more needed to be done in creating awareness.

I know there are various activities and campaign to create public awareness being initiated by various bodies including the radio stations, magazines, manufacturers and distributors of beauty products and women apparels, hospitals and medical centres. Others have also come out with their products in the pink colour, participating outlets are giving away goodie bags, discount voucher and insurance companies have launched new schemes for female related diseases.

Proceeds from the various activities among others, charity auction, charity golf, charity walk are being donated to the various cancer related organizations. In addition, some organizations are also subsidizing or sponsoring mammography for the lower income group.

At the road shows and public forums educational talk, breast self examination demonstration, free consultations are some of the important agendas. I, myself have participated at these forums where a survivor is called to share her experience.

To be frank, I can’t remember whether I knew of Pink October before my encounter with breast cancer. Many may not be aware of it but I know more Malaysians are aware of breast cancer more than ever now compared to a few years ago.