It has been so long

I finally thought i should post again. I noticed that my last posting was in Oct 2010and at that time thought of taking a short break. But did not realise that it will be so long.

I am fine and going for my regular check ups and leading life with many daily challenges.

Whenever i tell people i am a breast cancer survivor, i get so many different reaction. Young people just brush it a side as another event in someone's life. Others ask more questions but that is about it. I can see from some of the women's expression that i not need to know about it as it would not happen to me. Well i hope these women are aware that more and more Malaysian women are getting breast cancer and early detection is vital.

A few months ago, visited a breast cancer survivor who had to met with cancer again and passed away. I was really glad that i made every attempt to visit her a week before she died. She was in her midst 30s and had lead active live. She definitely lead the her life to the fullest. She had touched and inspired so many others.

Events like these forces us to take stock of of lives and appreciate what we have.

Breast Caner Awareness Talk at the Rotary Club

After i gave the talk at the Tamil School, i was invited to give another talk to the Rotary Club in Klang. This was definitely a challenge to me! Why? Because most of the Rotarians were men with only a few ladies among them.

This is my first time dealing with a majority men crowd. I showed my usual slides which included breast self examination and in the end i touched on the importance on husbands and boyfriends giving their full support to their wives or girls friends when they are diagnosed with breast cancer. The audience had many questions to ask and it was an interactive session.

Rotarians listening to what i had to say about breast cancer!

Receiving a certificate of appreciation.

This month of October, i have been quiet involved with NCSM on creating breast cancer awareness, particapting at roadshows and attended a sharing session at the Hospital Serdang. I have posted some pictures at my facebook.

Breast Cancer talk at Tamil School, Setia Alam

I have not been posting for nearly two months now and i only realised this when i saw my blog...wow how time flies.

I have been busy with many things and including going through a career change. My high blood pressure is not stable now cfontrary to what i thought that by leaving the corporate world it would stabilise but it has not. I have recently starting going to university hospital to address the issue and the attending doctor has changed the prescription for the medicine. I just had a blood test taken and I am waiting for the results.

Last week i also had my mammography done which is the normal 6 months routine. I was told everything was normal and the date for the next mammography is a year from now. Thank for God for that!

Towards end of last month i did two presentations in creating breast cancer awareness, firstly to the teachers from the SJK(Tamil) North Hummock, Setia Alam. My cousin's wife who is a teacher there organised this talk.As this is a Tamil type school, for the first time i had to do my presentation in Tamil. My cousin said i did quite well...hurray hurray as i thought my Tamil is not that fluent! After the presentation i began to realise that many women folk beyond the town and cities are not aware of many aspects of breast cancer. I touched on the myths & symptoms of breast cancer and breast self examination. With many inquisitive questions from the young teachers i was glad i did my part in creating breast cancer awareness that day.

I am presenting my talk before the teachers.

Teachers in discussion after hearing the myths of breast cancer.

My audience listening tentatively to me ..ha..ha!.

My contribution to well being of women folks get paid in kind.

The reflexologist

Today was my mother's six month check up with Prof Yip. The good Prof said my mother was fine and we with her for less than 10 minutes. There were may ladies waiting to see her. Unlike other times, i could not pick a conversation with anyone as both of us were seated at a corner...ha..ha!



Yesterday was a day that proved to be a motivating. I go this reflexology centre at least once a month. And yesterday I went to the reflexologist and as i was having a conversation i found out about his wife. Firstly he is blind and his second son is a slow learner which i knew earlier. What i found out yesterday made me feel really proud of having known him. He told me that his wife developed a mental disorder 5 years ago. So she is under strong medication and he is always watchful of her as anything can trigger her mood swings. He seem to know alot and i found out he is also well read on this topic. He has always appeared to be cheerful and talkative. So with all these challenges he can smile at life.



Many people these days, have actually got many of their perceptions in life wrong. To me yesterday the reflexologist amazed me and motivated me to meet challenges ahead with determination and confidence in this journey of ongoing of adventure.

These couple of months

I am back after some break. It not that i did not want to do any posting but suddenly over the view months since my last posting i have become some what very busy.

Many of my blog visitors who i have recently meet as me why i have not blog recently and ere are some of the questions asked by them:

Have you got a job and gone back to the corporate world?
No i have not got a job. I am now a risk management consultant working from home dealing in various financial and estate planing products. I am slowly but surely getting a grip of this new adventure that i have taken on. It has been slow but i am learning about new skills especially dealing with people and getting to know about the outside world especially when i meet people from all walks of life. The first few months were not easy after years of working in an office environment to suddenly being in a home environment. Many who know me to come from a legal background are at first surprised and when they hear what i have gone through they understand....and say you had guts! Ha...ha!

Has it been easy doing something totally new to sustain one self?
Well it has been a challenge but it is something new and give me the excitement to do something new. Initially i have to cut my corner and live within my means.

What has happened to the issue with your previous company?
I can now proudly reveal that i had taken the matter to industrial relation dept and the matter did not get settled there. So i am now progressing with the next course of action. I am lucky that i met the right set of people to give me good advise in dealing with this matter.

So now you must have lots of free time?
Since July 2010 i have been elected the Division C Governor for District 51, Toastmasters International with 33 clubs under me. So i have been really busy visiting clubs , attending installation ceremonies and being judge for speech contests. Toastmasters has always given me the self confidence and self esteem over the years and it will continue to push me to greater heights. It is an atmosphere surrounded by warmth, positive energy and people that appreciate you. As toastmasters is a non profit organisation, our contribution is on a voluntary basis.

How is your health now?
My high blood pressure is much under control now that i am not in an office environment..ha..ha!

Well the above are a few common questions asked.

During this few months, i am also very sad that my fellow blogger Dalilah passed away as she lost her battle with cancer. She was a very gusty and couragerous lady. May her soul rest in peace. I had been caught up in my own world and had not been following her blog for some time. So it was total shocked to me when i received the news.

Two weeks ago i volunteered to be an emce for the IEM Family Day. It was the first time, for me to be an emcee for a family day and I enjoyed it tremendously. At one of the booths, i was asked to donate blood. When i told them i cannot, they wanted to know why. I told them i am breast cancer survivor. Oop! They just looked at me speechless!..Ha..ha!

Walked off my job

Wondering what’s become of me! Well I walked off my job early this month. After working for ten years with the same company and now with lots of indifference taking place, I decided that enough is enough. I value myself more and thus made a decision on what was best for me.

I have taken this bungy jump, I not know how long I will swing in mid air but I know that in the end when I complete my jump I will have no regrets for I would be proud of myself.

Of course going back to the corporate world will be a challenge now due to my age and as a cancer survivor. Considering all aspects I know I have come to a cross road in my career and I have made certain choices…to try new things and to excel with all confidence and self esteem.

In the midst of this, last week we, some members of Pink Unity had a swell of a time in Langkawi. Visiting the general hospital and having a sharing session with a big group of ladies from the civil services , the 31 odd members of Pink Unity were involved in. I for the first time emceed the event in Bahasa Malaysia and was proud for now I could provide master of ceremonies services in both languages…ha..ha!

Of course, we also had great fun and camaraderie. We also proved that no outing is fun without shopping just like most Malaysian women. I will post more on the trip in the next post.

I have been busy with other things at home, very involved in my toastmasters' activities and decided to take a short break before making up my mind on my career plan.

When ones self- worth and self- esteem are tested then it is time to rise to the occasion.

Birthday..birthday

I turned 44 last Tuesday. I took off from work for the day and visited temples and friends. My resolution where birthdays are concerned is to celebrate in many different ways that i can. I received many birthday wishes and gifts from many good hearts. They wishes and blessings made my day.

My birthday wish is for life to be filled with lots of laughter and joy..ha..ha. It the midst of many challenges for God the bestow on me the inner strength to face all type of situations and to more on.

Two weeks ago i went for my did my mammography The radiologist report states that there is many calcification on my right breast. She wants me wants to me to do any mammography in 6 months. Oh well! As usual doing a mammography is a uneasy experience.

Valentine's Day

This Valentine's Day, was the 5th anniversay of having had the mastectomy done. As i always say Valentine's Day is a celebration of life for me.

Like everyone else the journey had been challenging yet fulfilling. I am really proud of my achievements and who i am today, regardless of what the people around me think.

I always tell some one who is down emotionally to "love thyself first" which i think is very important.

My high blood pressure is under control thanks to the medication. But then sometimes when i get upset, the reading show the pressure being high.

I am now facing new challenges in my life surrounded by negative vibes. But then after having gone through cancer these vibes can be overcome. I like to share these few words that i receive on my mail and would like to share them.

Your Best Year

Like in everything we do, in life there is not a second chance; every moment, either we lose or win! Everything is mental; we bring to our life what we think about most of the time.

The road has two ways, one toward light and other toward darkness. Life is a choice! Everything and Everybody starts from zero; it is your choice in what place you finish. If we accept mental poverty, all kinds of poverty is what we get.

Change your attitude to win now! Be happy and relaxed, regardless of any circumstance. Always focus only on the solutions; don't let anybody rob you of your happiness. Don't allow challenges or circumstances to defeat you.

Do the right thing. Demand from yourself whatever it takes to win - clarity, focus, effort, persistence, sacrifice, discipline and love - not just to survive but also to win!

Life is a give and take; we stop receiving as soon as we stop giving the best of us!! That's the balance of life!!! If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Every tomorrow you will do even better.

Yes you can do this. Make this year your year; just you have to believe in you

Silly Presumption

As i have shaved my head, i use scarves to cover my head when i am go out of the house. Of course i get alot of people starring at me and with some Indians knowing why i have shaved my head it being in conjunction with the Thaipusam celebration.

Last week a lady who who works in my office building asked whether i am going through chemo. I said no sharply and added on that i shaved my head because of Thaipusam and i am also a breast cancer survivor. Then she was surprised and said that one of a colleague told her that i am going through chemo. I told her if I was going through chemo, no way could i make the journey everyday from Klang to Kuala Lumpur. To that she agreed because she has several friends who had undergone chemo and knew that it would be difficult to come to work. I ended our conversation by saying that to think that everyone wearing a scarf because of their head is clean shaven is a "Silly presumption". She was apologetic after that for asking so and i just brushed her aside.

When i got back to my work station i though how sensitive i have become and took offence to people asking me whether i am going though chemo. Actually I cannot explain why i took offence to that statement.

So the next time i ask some one the same question i must be mindful of their reaction.

Shaved head

I conveyed my homage to Lord Murugan of Batu Caves for Thaipusam this year. The Thaipusam festival falls on 30^th Jan this year but I went to Batu Caves over the weekend.

As this is the 5^th year of surviving cancer, I shaved my head as a form of gratitude to the Lord. At the same time I carried paal kuddam or the milk pot on the 200 something steps to reach the hill top temple.

The barber at the shop at the bottom of the hill only took less than 5 minutes to shave by hair with a small blade. He did not leave any mark on my head at all. I then washed myself in the newly built toilet owned by the Barber’s Shop, changed myself into new clothes. I rubbed sandalwood paste on my head to have a cooling affect on my head.

I proceed to carry the milk pot up the steps and was surprised at myself that I did not stop much while climbing the steps panting as I usually do. Probably I am more fit now or just got the energy after shaving my head…ha..ha.

My aunt and uncle from Washington were there and so were my parents, brother and two little nephews. When an event like this takes place, it is a further blessing to have loved ones around you.

Am I brave to cut my shave my head? Yes I am because I did not have hair at all for some months when I was undergoing treatment so I do not feel uncomfortable at all. Some ladies who saw me at the temple smiled at me when they saw my head and I smiled back at them.

Outside home I am wearing scarves which I still kept from my treatment days. People may get uncomfortable seeing me without hair so I resorted to using a scarf. But of course even with a scarf people get confused whether I am an India or a Malay and then they see me using a pottu on the forehead. Some of my friends take some time to recognize me.

Hair will always grow. The most important thing in life is always to be grateful to Lord for all blessings HE has showered on us.

My little nephews, brother , parents, aunt and uncle.

I am carrying the milk pot climbing the steps accompanied by mother and aunt.

Happy Ponggal

Wishing all my Tamil blog visitors Happy Ponggal. Here is my greetings in Tamil.

"Tai piranthal..Vali pirakkum...Pirakkum intha tai maasam tanggal vaalvil yella selvanggalaiyum kondu selithu valara..Endone anbana Ponggal Nalvalthukkal"

2 weeks of the new years have passed ...wow! I must thank my friend Uma (my faithful visitor) who called me to say it is high time i posted and so here i am today.

My high blood pressure with the tablets is under control, looks like i have to be on them for the rest of my stay on planet earth..ha..ha. I am slowing accepting this fact and moving on,

Lately i seem to be mentioning this statement. " Do you love yourself?" Many of us go about our daily lives not loving ourselves but loving all and sundry out there.

It is really important to "love thyself first". I will continue with subject in the next posting hopefully by this week.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Over the weekend i followed my mother for her 6 months' once check up to UMSC and saw Prof Yip. While waiting an other cancer sat beside me. That morning i was in a chatty mood and so pick up a conversation with her. She in her mid 50 and is a 5 year breast cancer survivor, however after her third year she had leukemia. She told me how she had to go through the treatment and spend a long time in the hospital. She looked good to me but she said she still has some side effects of of the treatment for leukemia.

I asked her my famous question" How do you take life now?" She replied she takes one day at a time and does not really worry about the future. She enjoys and does what she can in a day. As a single woman, she thankful to her family.

When i was speaking to her as just truly admired her perseverance and energy to handle the treatment and move on.

Prof Yip said my mother is fine and asked how i was. I said i am fine except for the BP. As for my BP reading, well some days it is normal and some days slightly higher but everything is under control.

After such along time i followed my friends to their general hospital rounds as volunteers. It brought back memories as i had once followed them for almost 7 years visiting patients. At wards I saw two ladies, who had surgery for breast cancer and the other going through treatment. That day although i talked to them i did not share that i too am a cancer survivor.

Sometimes i feel like telling the whole world and sundry that i am a cancer survivor and other times i just do want to reveal anything.

Looking forward to the new year as i have a whole list of resolutions that i plan to write down.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my blog visitors

Pathology.org

I received this mail recently and wanted to share it.

Dear Webmaster,

Pathology.org is the largest up to date informational database consisting of general health and disease information. The only way to combat disease and promote healthy living is to provide the public current information on health and diseases. Pathology.org consists of breaking news in the health world and offers the information needed to take preventive and combative measures to fight disease. Your website seems to be a very credible resource and would beneficial to us in the fight to combat the contraction and spread of disease. You can aid us in this fight by simply putting a banner or link up for us, making our site available to your vast public. I have included the code for the banner within this email showing you exactly what this banner will look like. Thank you for your time, effort, and work you have done, we look forward to any thoughts you may have. Link Information:Title:PathologyDescription: Largest informational database containing information on Medical Schools and the best Medical resources.

Sincerley,

Kia RenInternet Outreach Team

Pathology.org

Master of ceremonies for annual convention

My blood pressure is now 130/90 and my doctor is happy with it. I am still on 100mg Normaten. I have also been taking some home remedy by juicing with cucumber, bitter gourd, celery and green apple. Well i have been taking things easy.

In the month of October, i was the emcee for my company's annual convention. There were about 1300 participants which was held at Pyramid Convention Center. I came down with a flu on the eve of the convention and it was full blown on that important day. I persevered although my voice lost its sharpness.

Here are some pictures taken on that day.

I am having fun too as the emcee.

I am busy announcing the speaker

I am discussing with the speaker on his introduction.

Lucky draw session at the end of the convention

Blood pressure

My blood pressure reading is 150/95. Although my doctor said that it has slightly improved but she has increased my the dose of the medication. I am to take to 100mg. She has asked to come back in another 2 weeks.

I have also purchased the blood pressure monitor from the Guardian Pharmacy as recommended by fellow blogger Dr Hasnah. I am monitoring the pressure at home, some days it is high and some days it is normal.

Anyway life goes on as i try to take things much easier now. I have started my walks and meditation more diligently.

Recently i met my friend Vanessa who has just finished her treatment for breast cancer and is back at work. We had a delicious lunch at the La Bodega at Bangsar. I snapped a photo and will post it later. It brought back memories when i listened to her experience.

High Blood Pressure

I went to see my doctor near my home and was told my high blood pressure was very high 160/110. She told me i am living time bomb and anything could happen any time. So she immediately put me on pills. I am to take the medication for 2 weeks.

That made me upset. Looks like i am collecting trophies of medical conditions. I still do not know why i have got it. I not have a stressful life , eat healthy and have exercise. I started on my breathing exercise and meditation recently. Hope i have the my reading under control the next time i see my doctor. May it is the travelling long hours to work. I really wish i could do something closely to home.

Living Life to the fullest even with breast cancer+video

Happy Deepavali to all my blog visitors.

It has been a busy couple of weeks for me. I was the master of ceremonies for my companies annual convention last Thursday and was suddenly down with flu on the eve of the convention. I managed to last the whole day of the convention with a blocked nose and i could hardly breath. Luckily all went smoothly though my voice was muffled because of the cold.

Then i took Friday off and did the least work for Deepavali as i did not want to stress myself up and miss all the celebration on Saturday.

It was a great celebration this year surrounded with family and friends. Of course my sugar and cholesterol level would be high because of all the Indian sweetmeats...ha..ha!

I had no time to access my mails for couple of days and when i did, I came across this from Radiology College on Living Life to the fullest even with breast cancer.

[Please vote for what you think best portrays the theme "Living life to the fullest even with breast cancer"

Each video is only 3 min long but the download time may be variable. Only 3 are presented for voting purposes.

The links to the videos are at www.radiologymalaysia.org/opn2009

Just give your vote for what you feel is the best one to convey the message/theme.This digital video contest is one of the Radiology Malaysia 2009 website activity and is the run up to the OutRageously PiNk Nite, 7 Nov 2009]

I had a look at all three videos...a very real life and simple protray of the ladies of courage.

Blood pressure

My blood pressure reading shows 155/105. My doctor told to control my food and to see her again in two weeks. Looks like suddenly my pressure has short up not that I am stressed at work or with other matters. Anyway need to see whether I can control it naturally or go on pills. I have just become a bit lazy and have not been mediating or doing my breathing exercise.

On 11 September 2009, the Pink Unity has a “Buka Puasa Dinner”. We occupied to tables and it was fun to meet up with the ladies again. I had taken some photos and hope I will be able to post them soon.

I received two emails from BCWA on Stand Up For Pink. As it is on a working day I will not be able to go for it.

Details of the event are as follows:
Date : Thursday, 1st October 2009
Time : 10 am
Venue: Espressamente Illy, First Floor
Bangsar Village
No. 1, Jalan Telawi Satu
Bangsar Baru
59100 Kuala Lumpur

The other email was on that BCWA now has their Professional Counsellor available every Mondays 10am - 4pm for those who need psychosocial or emotional support during their breast cancer journey.

Walk for World Pink

I read in the papers recently about Estee Lauder’ Walk for World Pink which will be held at KL Tower Base, I thought of participating and then was very disappointed when I found out that the the event will be held on 3 Oct 2009.

I am the Organising Chair for Division C Toastmasters Humorous Speech Contests and Evaluation Contests which are being held on the same day. So I definitely cannot make it. Hope to join this exciting evert next year.

The Pink Unity is organising a Buka Puasa dinner at Bukit Kiara on this Friday . Since it is near my office I will joining the ladies again. We will definitely feast ourselves and enjoy the festive atmosphere.

My recent check up

I have become too lazy and to busy to blog. Even my cousin Padma from Washington whom i spoke to over the weekend commented that i should post more often. Oh dear...should endeavour to do so.

I went for my 6 months once check up last week at UH. As I was there very early, I was the first few to see Prof Yip. Usually I will have this sense of trepidation while waiting for my turn but this time around my thoughts were elsewhere. As I was waiting to see Prof Yip, I meet a breast cancer survivor of 30 years! Wow I was really impressed. Although in in her early 60’s, she looked good and ver stylish.

Prof Yip said everything is fine and my next check up February next year. I will also have a mammography done.I went home in a cheerful mood.

Here is an article i wrote about the Pink Unity trip to Cameroon which was not published.

PINK UNITY CAMEROON HIGHLANDS TRIP
BONDING AND SHARING “TOUCHING HEARTS PROGRAMME”

The Pink Unity organized a trip to Cameron Highlands between 17-19 July 2009, the first project of its bonding and sharing programme for a couple of days. It was a fantastic cool treat for about 33 lady survivors and one still undergoing treatment. It is amazing as 4 ladies from Melaka joined us and we picked after 2 more ladies Ipoh at Simpang Pulai.

Before checking in to Rosa Pasedanan Hotel we were accompanied by a district officer to visit the Diado Hana Chrysanthemum Farm. We were greeted with sweet fragrance from the flowers and it was really soothing to see so many colourful and beautiful types of chrysanthemum. The farm is a producer as well as manufacture for fresh cut chrysanthemum. The ladies wished their husbands and boyfriends who give them a bouquet of beautiful flowers like this..ha..ha!
On our way, we stopped at the Cameroon Bharat Tea Farm along the road. To take a group photo. The scenery was fantastic, the tea plants covering the valleys and very way was so serene.

Before checking in to the hotel, we also visit the Orang Asli of Sg Ruil. The officers from the Jabatan Hal Ehwal Organg Asli and the Tok Batin (orang asli community head) was there to greet us. We then had a sharing session with the community. What really took us by surprise was that the ladies and young girls of the community was not really aware of cancer. Luckily one of fellow survivors hails from orang asli community was able to speak in the language and touch base with them. The ladies and some young mothers were briefed on how to do breast self examination. It was an eye opener for us on the tour on the ways of living of the local community and was breathtaking was we were all able to smelt such fresh and crisp cool mountain air on the settlement.

The next day we enjoyed the famous red, juicy, succulent, a bit sour strawberries of Cameron. We visited KHM Strawberry farm in Tanah Rata and was briefed by the owner on strawberry farming. While listening to him we feasted to delicious strawberry ice with strawberry topping, it cold, yummy and refreshing. Many of us bought authentic strawberry jam mad from freshly squeezed strawberries.

We continue our journey to the Cactus Gardens. We walked around the gardens to view a variety of cactus of different shapes, colour and sizes. So many photos were taking by the ladies amidst of very strange looking cactus plants. In the afternoon we had another quick sharing session at the Mardi Agrotechnology Park with representatives of Puspanitha and enjoyed tea with them cool serenity environment.

At night we had a grand nite called the Idol Night… a night of letting our hair down. All the ladies we beautifully dressed looking forward for a night of fun and laughter. The night start off by a short speech by the President of Pink Unity Datin Azura and then followed by performance. Some ladies sang Karaoke and there were 3 belly dancers that night. The glamorous performance came from the Dikir Puteri group. Everyone was enthralled with each other performance and everyone was having a jolly good time, with bonding and camaraderie. Everyone was either dancing or singing at their places or on the floor. Prizes were given away but the best prize was that everyone felt a sense of happiness… like being on top of the world. The night ended celebrating our remarkable journey in life.

Third day before leaving home we went to Mardi again but this time to see the botanical gardens which include the herbs, roses, orchids, and the research centers. We were also brief on the latest development by a Mardi Official.

As we headed home, it was a wonderful trip to remember. For some the 3 days were relaxing, for some it was a first time experienced such gaiety among fellow survivor and for all us it is a awesome experience on top of the mountain.