Walked off my job

Wondering what’s become of me! Well I walked off my job early this month. After working for ten years with the same company and now with lots of indifference taking place, I decided that enough is enough. I value myself more and thus made a decision on what was best for me.

I have taken this bungy jump, I not know how long I will swing in mid air but I know that in the end when I complete my jump I will have no regrets for I would be proud of myself.

Of course going back to the corporate world will be a challenge now due to my age and as a cancer survivor. Considering all aspects I know I have come to a cross road in my career and I have made certain choices…to try new things and to excel with all confidence and self esteem.

In the midst of this, last week we, some members of Pink Unity had a swell of a time in Langkawi. Visiting the general hospital and having a sharing session with a big group of ladies from the civil services , the 31 odd members of Pink Unity were involved in. I for the first time emceed the event in Bahasa Malaysia and was proud for now I could provide master of ceremonies services in both languages…ha..ha!

Of course, we also had great fun and camaraderie. We also proved that no outing is fun without shopping just like most Malaysian women. I will post more on the trip in the next post.

I have been busy with other things at home, very involved in my toastmasters' activities and decided to take a short break before making up my mind on my career plan.

When ones self- worth and self- esteem are tested then it is time to rise to the occasion.

Birthday..birthday

I turned 44 last Tuesday. I took off from work for the day and visited temples and friends. My resolution where birthdays are concerned is to celebrate in many different ways that i can. I received many birthday wishes and gifts from many good hearts. They wishes and blessings made my day.

My birthday wish is for life to be filled with lots of laughter and joy..ha..ha. It the midst of many challenges for God the bestow on me the inner strength to face all type of situations and to more on.

Two weeks ago i went for my did my mammography The radiologist report states that there is many calcification on my right breast. She wants me wants to me to do any mammography in 6 months. Oh well! As usual doing a mammography is a uneasy experience.

Valentine's Day

This Valentine's Day, was the 5th anniversay of having had the mastectomy done. As i always say Valentine's Day is a celebration of life for me.

Like everyone else the journey had been challenging yet fulfilling. I am really proud of my achievements and who i am today, regardless of what the people around me think.

I always tell some one who is down emotionally to "love thyself first" which i think is very important.

My high blood pressure is under control thanks to the medication. But then sometimes when i get upset, the reading show the pressure being high.

I am now facing new challenges in my life surrounded by negative vibes. But then after having gone through cancer these vibes can be overcome. I like to share these few words that i receive on my mail and would like to share them.

Your Best Year

Like in everything we do, in life there is not a second chance; every moment, either we lose or win! Everything is mental; we bring to our life what we think about most of the time.

The road has two ways, one toward light and other toward darkness. Life is a choice! Everything and Everybody starts from zero; it is your choice in what place you finish. If we accept mental poverty, all kinds of poverty is what we get.

Change your attitude to win now! Be happy and relaxed, regardless of any circumstance. Always focus only on the solutions; don't let anybody rob you of your happiness. Don't allow challenges or circumstances to defeat you.

Do the right thing. Demand from yourself whatever it takes to win - clarity, focus, effort, persistence, sacrifice, discipline and love - not just to survive but also to win!

Life is a give and take; we stop receiving as soon as we stop giving the best of us!! That's the balance of life!!! If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door. Every tomorrow you will do even better.

Yes you can do this. Make this year your year; just you have to believe in you

Silly Presumption

As i have shaved my head, i use scarves to cover my head when i am go out of the house. Of course i get alot of people starring at me and with some Indians knowing why i have shaved my head it being in conjunction with the Thaipusam celebration.

Last week a lady who who works in my office building asked whether i am going through chemo. I said no sharply and added on that i shaved my head because of Thaipusam and i am also a breast cancer survivor. Then she was surprised and said that one of a colleague told her that i am going through chemo. I told her if I was going through chemo, no way could i make the journey everyday from Klang to Kuala Lumpur. To that she agreed because she has several friends who had undergone chemo and knew that it would be difficult to come to work. I ended our conversation by saying that to think that everyone wearing a scarf because of their head is clean shaven is a "Silly presumption". She was apologetic after that for asking so and i just brushed her aside.

When i got back to my work station i though how sensitive i have become and took offence to people asking me whether i am going though chemo. Actually I cannot explain why i took offence to that statement.

So the next time i ask some one the same question i must be mindful of their reaction.

Shaved head

I conveyed my homage to Lord Murugan of Batu Caves for Thaipusam this year. The Thaipusam festival falls on 30^th Jan this year but I went to Batu Caves over the weekend.

As this is the 5^th year of surviving cancer, I shaved my head as a form of gratitude to the Lord. At the same time I carried paal kuddam or the milk pot on the 200 something steps to reach the hill top temple.

The barber at the shop at the bottom of the hill only took less than 5 minutes to shave by hair with a small blade. He did not leave any mark on my head at all. I then washed myself in the newly built toilet owned by the Barber’s Shop, changed myself into new clothes. I rubbed sandalwood paste on my head to have a cooling affect on my head.

I proceed to carry the milk pot up the steps and was surprised at myself that I did not stop much while climbing the steps panting as I usually do. Probably I am more fit now or just got the energy after shaving my head…ha..ha.

My aunt and uncle from Washington were there and so were my parents, brother and two little nephews. When an event like this takes place, it is a further blessing to have loved ones around you.

Am I brave to cut my shave my head? Yes I am because I did not have hair at all for some months when I was undergoing treatment so I do not feel uncomfortable at all. Some ladies who saw me at the temple smiled at me when they saw my head and I smiled back at them.

Outside home I am wearing scarves which I still kept from my treatment days. People may get uncomfortable seeing me without hair so I resorted to using a scarf. But of course even with a scarf people get confused whether I am an India or a Malay and then they see me using a pottu on the forehead. Some of my friends take some time to recognize me.

Hair will always grow. The most important thing in life is always to be grateful to Lord for all blessings HE has showered on us.

My little nephews, brother , parents, aunt and uncle.

I am carrying the milk pot climbing the steps accompanied by mother and aunt.

Happy Ponggal

Wishing all my Tamil blog visitors Happy Ponggal. Here is my greetings in Tamil.

"Tai piranthal..Vali pirakkum...Pirakkum intha tai maasam tanggal vaalvil yella selvanggalaiyum kondu selithu valara..Endone anbana Ponggal Nalvalthukkal"

2 weeks of the new years have passed ...wow! I must thank my friend Uma (my faithful visitor) who called me to say it is high time i posted and so here i am today.

My high blood pressure with the tablets is under control, looks like i have to be on them for the rest of my stay on planet earth..ha..ha. I am slowing accepting this fact and moving on,

Lately i seem to be mentioning this statement. " Do you love yourself?" Many of us go about our daily lives not loving ourselves but loving all and sundry out there.

It is really important to "love thyself first". I will continue with subject in the next posting hopefully by this week.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

Over the weekend i followed my mother for her 6 months' once check up to UMSC and saw Prof Yip. While waiting an other cancer sat beside me. That morning i was in a chatty mood and so pick up a conversation with her. She in her mid 50 and is a 5 year breast cancer survivor, however after her third year she had leukemia. She told me how she had to go through the treatment and spend a long time in the hospital. She looked good to me but she said she still has some side effects of of the treatment for leukemia.

I asked her my famous question" How do you take life now?" She replied she takes one day at a time and does not really worry about the future. She enjoys and does what she can in a day. As a single woman, she thankful to her family.

When i was speaking to her as just truly admired her perseverance and energy to handle the treatment and move on.

Prof Yip said my mother is fine and asked how i was. I said i am fine except for the BP. As for my BP reading, well some days it is normal and some days slightly higher but everything is under control.

After such along time i followed my friends to their general hospital rounds as volunteers. It brought back memories as i had once followed them for almost 7 years visiting patients. At wards I saw two ladies, who had surgery for breast cancer and the other going through treatment. That day although i talked to them i did not share that i too am a cancer survivor.

Sometimes i feel like telling the whole world and sundry that i am a cancer survivor and other times i just do want to reveal anything.

Looking forward to the new year as i have a whole list of resolutions that i plan to write down.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my blog visitors