My neighbor dropped by my house yesterday evening and her first sentence was “my sister-in-law has a relapse of breast cancer and is in hospital” (her sister- in-law is a 8 year old breast cancer survivor). My neighbor carried on by saying that her sister- in- law cannot move both her legs nor feel both her leg joints. The doctors are unable to find out the actual cause.
Prior to this, I had meet the sister- in- law at my neighhor's place at a Christmas dinner a year ago. When I looked at her then , I was really feeling good and glad because she has survived breast cancer for many years. She looked so normal and had an active lifestyle as any ordinary person.
When I heard my neighbor’s remark, I was upset. This fear is always on the back of my mind. Nor matter how I try to shut it into a drum and let it roll away, it some how creeps up and puts me off mood. I go into a short depression. Then iI call my friends who are breast cancer survivors…we will have a few laughs and I would feel much better.
I also ask myself often, “am I taking the right food and leading the right lifestyle”, so that I would be free of the Big C for the rest of my life.
During my treatment, I use to go to these Qi Gong exercise. Many of the ladies my age who breast cancer survivor themselves, had left their jobs to be homemakers.
I sometimes wonder have I jeopardized myself by going back to work, by eating everything……will cancer visit me again.
Maybe I should quit my job and just relax not to be caught in this web of hustle and bustle of a working life. I would not have to get up at 5 am to go to work and only get back by 7 pm. But wouldn’t that make me feel completely hopeless, slowly putting myself into a refrigerator… I do not even have kids or a husband to look after.
Oh! Relapse or reoccurrence…whatever it may be, I have concluded. Life is short!....I will enjoy it and cherish life as it is.
1 comment:
Cheer up NK! I believe almost every woman in the world (me included) have some fear of breast cancer at the back of our mind. And it gets intense especially when you learn that yet another friend or person you know (or even don't personally know) has breast cancer. But as you've rightly said, life is too short to worry about things we don't know. Enjoy the moment, although sometimes, it's easier said than done. But hey, you've got us to remind you to have fun and stop being cheesed off half the time...(hehehe, I just had to put that in)
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