I just realized that it has been a year since I started work after completing my treatments. I came back to work 1 September 2005. Wow! Oh my…how time flies!
I sat back and asked myself how do I feel now?
Oh! First I told myself I must state the finer points…my accomplishments!
For the first time, I got interviewed by the Health & Beauty magazine, just as I got back to work last year. That was a really moral booster timely just as I started on the job after 6 months of absences. Then the magazine organized a breast cancer awareness month and invited me along with another survivor to share our experiences. That was the first sharing presentation I did in front of a group over 100 people.
For the first time, I took part in a fashion show at KLCC organized by the NCSM for their cancer awareness month last year. I really enjoyed myself. My first exposure in modeling. Ironically I did modeling only when I had one breast! Ha…Ha!
For the first time, I became the 2nd Runners Up for the Toastmasters International District 51, Table Topic Contest, early this year. I still am truly elated.
For the first time, I have my own blog, to share my thoughts and my experiences. Hurray!
Oh! First I told myself I must state the finer points…my accomplishments!
For the first time, I got interviewed by the Health & Beauty magazine, just as I got back to work last year. That was a really moral booster timely just as I started on the job after 6 months of absences. Then the magazine organized a breast cancer awareness month and invited me along with another survivor to share our experiences. That was the first sharing presentation I did in front of a group over 100 people.
For the first time, I took part in a fashion show at KLCC organized by the NCSM for their cancer awareness month last year. I really enjoyed myself. My first exposure in modeling. Ironically I did modeling only when I had one breast! Ha…Ha!
For the first time, I became the 2nd Runners Up for the Toastmasters International District 51, Table Topic Contest, early this year. I still am truly elated.
For the first time, I have my own blog, to share my thoughts and my experiences. Hurray!
For the first time, I have a very short hair style and intent to keep it that way. For someone who did not dream of having a short hair when the hair used be to kept so long, this is definitely a changed stylish person!
My emotional development, I have become more tolerant. However at the same time I have become a bit selfish…I come first, my health and my well being is my priority. I was quite when I came back to office but now I am usual vocal self to some extent. When I encounter an obstacle or difficult situation, I tell myself…”Come on you have overcome cancer, what can more terrible and challenging then that!” I do not give two hoods what the society thinks. It is my life and I will live the way I choose to do so. No risk, not gain!
My negativism …
Same old life of getting up at 5 am, and traveling about 1 ½ hours to go to work and another 1 ½ traveling back home in the packed commuter trains. I feel sometimes I don’t have quality of life at all.
I have not started volunteering work as a volunteer with Klang General Hospital or with Hospice Klang. I cannot bring myself to visit hospital and to speak to patients. Oh well not yet!
Depression when i hear some one dying of cancer or hearing someone has recurrence of cancer. Worried whether I will get cancer again. Will I live to see this and that in years to come.
My diet, am I eating the right food and a balance diet? Every time I eat something different…somewhere at the back of my mind is this question. During working days I buy food at the eateries as I cannot bring food from home, not that I have any choice!
The world sucks! Pardon me for my language. Life does not become easy or smooth sailing just because I had cancer. I still have to deal with life's challenges and every day stress- traveling, work, relationships, people, diet, finance etc.
Every slight pain, numbness or any reaction to my body…my first reaction…”Oh! Oh! Is the cancer back?”
Some memory lapses now and then…but then I have always been absent minded. I even forget to eat my tamixofen sometimes!
Then I concluded sitting straight on my chair with a radiant smile, life must go on and it's up to me how I want to play the song of life.
My emotional development, I have become more tolerant. However at the same time I have become a bit selfish…I come first, my health and my well being is my priority. I was quite when I came back to office but now I am usual vocal self to some extent. When I encounter an obstacle or difficult situation, I tell myself…”Come on you have overcome cancer, what can more terrible and challenging then that!” I do not give two hoods what the society thinks. It is my life and I will live the way I choose to do so. No risk, not gain!
My negativism …
Same old life of getting up at 5 am, and traveling about 1 ½ hours to go to work and another 1 ½ traveling back home in the packed commuter trains. I feel sometimes I don’t have quality of life at all.
I have not started volunteering work as a volunteer with Klang General Hospital or with Hospice Klang. I cannot bring myself to visit hospital and to speak to patients. Oh well not yet!
Depression when i hear some one dying of cancer or hearing someone has recurrence of cancer. Worried whether I will get cancer again. Will I live to see this and that in years to come.
My diet, am I eating the right food and a balance diet? Every time I eat something different…somewhere at the back of my mind is this question. During working days I buy food at the eateries as I cannot bring food from home, not that I have any choice!
The world sucks! Pardon me for my language. Life does not become easy or smooth sailing just because I had cancer. I still have to deal with life's challenges and every day stress- traveling, work, relationships, people, diet, finance etc.
Every slight pain, numbness or any reaction to my body…my first reaction…”Oh! Oh! Is the cancer back?”
Some memory lapses now and then…but then I have always been absent minded. I even forget to eat my tamixofen sometimes!
Then I concluded sitting straight on my chair with a radiant smile, life must go on and it's up to me how I want to play the song of life.
2 comments:
NKV, you have done well, beauty magazine?, boleh dapat a copy?
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